So, I was thinking about this school thing. College, right? I've already told the President of Smith College, as well as two professors, that I'm applying there as an early decision candidate. That means that if I get accepted, I must remove my other applications from other schools, and must accept Smith as my college.
So, that is all well and good, except for two things. First off, Smith is an all girls school. Now, I don't want to seem like one of those girls whose whole purpose in college is to date and meet the man of their dreams. I have higher goals than that. The one thing I am afraid of is my apparent lack of female friends. As far back as middle school, my best friends have always been boys. Going back and listing my best friends starting with fifth grade, only three have been girls, and of those three, only one is still my friend. All in all, I find girls too petty, vain, controlling, gossipy, etc., etc. And the guys who have been my friends are still my friends. I don't know if it is a matter of compatibility or whatever, but going to an all-girls school seems like it would limit my options. I suppose one could look at it as an opportunity to make different kinds of friends, learn how to associate with women, or what have you, but I am going to whine a little, and say that I want a school where I don't have to work to make friends.
The other thing that makes me wary of Smith, is my desire to make the changes that I want in my life happen. The title of this post, which is now FINALLY relevant, is due to my love of Ireland. Not only did I love visiting it, but I loved the idea of living there. While doing all of my university research, I came across NUIG in Co. Galway, Ireland, and I cannot even express how much I desire to go there. I think I could get in, too. And there I could study botany, because they actually have a department dedicated to it. So few schools do. And I would have family to visit, and cute Irish accents to imitate.
And there is the fact that I believe the best time to make extreme changes in your life is when you are young and still have time to mend the problems that come with those changes. I don't want to settle in here in the U.S., get married, have children, get a job, a house, and then look back on my dreams and regret not having made the change I am so ready for now. Almost nothing is holding me here now. I have family, yes, and friends, but I can still keep that when I move. However, if I wait I fear I may never again have the courage. And that scares me.
So, now it is up for debate. Should I go to an excellent all girls school here in the U.S., and possible give up my dream of moving to Ireland, or do I move to Ireland next year, attend NUIG in Co. Galway, Ireland, and make my dream happen?
I think I need a psychiatrist.
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3 comments:
I think I need a psychiatrist.
Doesn't sound like it to me. I think you've realized the most important part, which is that moving to an entirely different country would be a major, major change. Going away to college is hard all by itself!
That being said, you're absolutely right when you say that college-age is the right time to be doing this kind of thing. And having family there, as well as something interesting to study, will no doubt make it a bit easier.
If you want the advice of a stranger on the internet, I'd say to follow your dream of going to Ireland. It doesn't have to be permanent if you don't want it to be, but you don't want to give up on an opportunity that you might not have again.
Good luck, whatever you choose.
i will second chemist's opinion on the psychiatrist thing. sounds like you're just thinking things through. i have a strong connection with ireland through my father, i also have a daughter there right now immersing herself in learning irish harp. it's a gorgeous place, wonderful people, and their economy is getting stronger every moment. even to the point of emmigrants returning. studying abroad is one of the single best things you can do to make yourself a better educated person. but, above all, trust and follow your heart. you obviously have a good one, follow it.
Is it possible to apply to two schools as an early decision candidate?
Does someone, like, punish you or something?
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