300
This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your Queen!
Jason and I sat on the gigantic couch in Jarrod’s brother’s apartment. We were exhausted from our five hour long drive from our university Worcester Polytechnic Institute in Worcester, Massachusetts. Jason, my boyfriend, and I were cuddled up on the sofa, engrossed in the conversation of Jarrod’s brother, Luke.
“Yeah, well, I love working at the patent office here in D.C. We tend to get the most interesting ideas,” he was smiling, fully. He looked just like Jarrod. “Why, a few weeks ago we had a man turn in the famous time-machine patent. He was pretty confident…” Luke laughed, his blond curls bouncing.
The brothers were sitting on the love-seat, catching up on their individual lives. Luke‘s girlfriend, Melissa, was in the kitchen making mojitos. Jason wrapped his arm around my shoulder as the apartment cat leapt onto my lap. She was a beautiful black, soft-furred thin cat, with white fur covering her paws and stomach. Friendly and attention-seeking, she began purring on my lap, shoving her head against my arm.
“Wow, she’s a beautiful cat,” commented Jason, petting her head gently. He had directed the question towards Jarrod, but he was absorbed in conversation. Jason smiled at me, and rested his head on my shoulder.
“So, what do you all say to watching a movie?” asked Luke, already digging through his collection of DVDs.
“That sound fabulous,” I said, smiling as I pet the cat. “What’s her name, by the way,” I asked, nodding towards the animal on my lap.
Luke looked up from his DVD shelving unit, “Oh, that’s Chuck. She’s pretty, huh?” He asked, his head back in the movies.
“Sure is,” I said, placing my hand on Jason’s knee and rubbing it gently.
He leaned over to me and whispered, “I love you.”
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. True love, I know, silly. But, it happens.
Washington D.C. was a lot nicer in March than Worcester. Jason and I had just come in from a walk through a cherry blossom lane, and were cuddling on the sofa. We weren’t concerned with the movie choice.
“How about 300? Have you seen it?” asked Luke, directing the question outward.
Jarrod replied, standing by the doorway. “Yeah, it’s awesome. Let’s do it!” His blond curls were longer than his brothers. He was thinner and taller, though. They both shared in the rosacea of their cheeks, and had the same sparkling smile.
I took a long glance at Jason, to my right. He was not much taller than me, but much thinner. He had short, blondish-brown hair that settled over his brow quite handsomely. His nose was longer than normal, but it fit the gentle nature of his face. His ears were rounder than other parts of his body, and reminded me of a monkey. An adorable monkey, of course.His hands were masculine, and I loved when they held me. I snuggled closer.
Luke slipped the DVD into the player, and played around for a few moments with the controls. Jason and I had already claimed our spot on the couch, and everyone else settled in around us. Melissa brought in the mojitos, and we all enjoyed our drinks while the movie began.
I hadn’t seen 300 before, but I heard that the visuals were amazing. I’d also heard there was a decent amount of gore, but that it was artistically done. I had doubts, since many people had said the same thing about Saw, so I was skeptical. But, I was comfortable, and satisfied from my food and drink, so I figured why not?
The movie was intense. There was a graphic sex scene in the beginning which I had NOT been prepared for, as the Queen and King separated. In a way, though, it was beautiful. It was the sort of sex that should be in movies, if they’re going to go there. It was love.
I knew I had to be careful with movies, though. Those are the sorts of things that trigger my memories. It had been not quite a year since it had happened, and I was still vulnerable. I am still vulnerable.
I knew as soon as the Queen was alone with the treasonous war hero. I saw the look in his eyes.
I remembered that look. I saw it every night in my dreams. As he came upon her, she asked, “What can your Queen do for you?” She was fearless.
I began crying then, as I saw him pull off her clothes and push her violently against the wall,
“This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your King.”
That was the end of the scene, but I couldn’t breathe. I knew what would happen. I knew with every fiber of my being, of my memory, of my soul. I buried my face in Jason’s shoulder and tried to forget. Tried to cry away the visions, but they wouldn’t go.
Jason knew. Well, he didn’t know. Had no idea, but he knew something was wrong. I pretended to fall asleep there, but my whimpering didn’t end. He held me close, and whispered, “Let’s go home.” It wasn’t a question.
Jason stood up and stretched, said how tired he was, how we had to get up early, and told Jarrod, Luke, and Melissa we were going to head home. I didn’t say anything, attempted a good-night, and followed Jason out the door.
In the car we said nothing, but Jason’s hand held mine.
Back at the hotel, Jason carried my purse up to our room, letting me inside. The door closed behind us, and we sat on the sofa-bed, where we slept. Still there was silence. No questions, no prodding. Our hands were together, clasped.
Finally, he broke the quiet. “Do you wanna talk about it, darling?” he asked nervously. He looked into my eyes as he asked. I was afraid to look back.
For a minute I was silent. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I tasted the saltiness on my tongue. The minute took forever, years seemed to stroll by. I squeezed his hand as I replied.
I told him.
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