Before and After - Chapter 4

The Kyle Richenbach Story: The Planned Kiss

Miss Mar-y Mack! Mack! Mack!
All dressed in black! Black! Black!
With silver buttons! Buttons! Buttons!
All down her back! Back! Back!

When I was in 4th grade, my social circle was rather limited. In fact, it included only me, Katie McBrien and a boy who was destined to be a nerd if only for his name: Kyle Richenbach.

I’ve always had a fascination with boys. Even as a pre-school child I had promised myself that I would marry my cousin, Timmy. He was my favorite man; handsome, smart, just divine. In 4th grade I was no different, and I had developed a crush on Kyle Richenbach.

Well, we’d planned the whole event. Together, eyeing the ground, shuffling our feet, we’d decided to meet at the steps of the school during recess the next day and kiss. Kyle Richenbach had been all for it.

“Siobhan, do you wanna kiss or something?” Kyle Richenbach asked shyly, kicking a stone with his sneaker-clad foot. He always lisped my name so it came out sounding more like ‘Shih-bihn’.

He stood probably an inch shorter than myself and was everything a nerd should be. He had huge glasses taped in the middle, and he always seemed to be scratching his too-blond hair. He was as skinny as a stick and dressed like prep-school drop-out; khaki colored pants, crimson and gray horizontally striped long-sleeve shirts, with a collared white dress-shirt underneath. And when he smiled it was all one could do to not see his lime-green and blue braces.

I was in love.

“Sure,” I sighed, pretending not to care.

“But, you know, not today cause that’d be too soon, don’t ya think?” he asked, staring at me.

“Sure, yeah, of course,” I returned casually.

“Tomorrow, then?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, tomorrow” and I turned and ran to catch up with Katie.

That was that. As Katie and I rode the bus home that day, I divulged everything to her. Our plans, the date, what I would wear. Together we surmised that the experience would be blissful, and that the kiss I was to share with Kyle Richenbach would be an unforgettable event.

As soon as we stopped outside of my house, on Manchester Road, I, and the brother and sister from across the street, got off. I crossed in front of the bus, hardly looking where I was going and waved goodbye to Katie from my driveway. I leapt for the door.

Inside, I dropped my backpack next to the dog crate and let Juneau, our beautiful lab husky, outside. It was always a struggle with her and it took what felt like precious minutes to attach her leash, allow her to drag me across the hallway to our backdoor, and then down the stairs to the backyard. She did her business, which I always turned away from, and we leapt back inside.

I tore open the dog food bag and poured out her dinner. In the kitchen I took her bowl and gave her some water, and then I abandoned her to her sad life while I retired to my bedroom. I began my plan.

First, I started cleaning. This is what I always did when I was nervous or excited. I threw the laundry all in one basket, I cleared and organized the piles of homework assignments and art projects from my desk, and I even vacuumed the hideous puke-green carpet that covered my floor.

Then I began my true project. I dug underneath my bed and pulled out a yet unopened package of yellow post-it notes. I unwrapped them and took out my favorite purple pen. I then proceeded to write the notes as follows:

I littered my walls from as far as I could reach on the wall, all the way down to the floor. Every bare space of ugly blue and white wall-paper was covered with little purple and yellow pieces of love. I thought of kissing.

I wondered what it would be like. I wandered over and flopped into my bed. I licked my lips and kissed my pointer and middle finger of my right hand. I hoped that kissing wasn’t like that. That was boring. I was incredibly restless. My room was already clean, so I slipped off of my mattress and ambled into the kitchen. I began washing dishes, kneeling on a dining room chair.

“Siobhan? Is that you?” I heard my Dad yell from the living room. I shoved the mug I’d been cleaning into the drying rack, and dried my hands on a towel before shutting off the water. I slid off the chair and meandered into the living room, through the dining room.

Dad had been sleeping on the sofa, and I’d missed him in my excitement to decorate. His glasses were lying next to his elbow, so I picked them up and put them on the ground. “Yeah, I got home a little while ago,” I said, adjusting my skirt.

“Oh, ok,” he mumbled. He flipped over on the couch. “Please be quiet. I have to work tonight.”

I tucked in his feet with the blanket and then walked back to the kitchen.

The dishes almost finished, I wanted to do something else. With a sudden inspiration, I ran to my newly renovated bedroom and grabbed my pink and purple jacket before running outside the back door to the porch.

It was a lovely autumn day. Our rented house was situated right on the edge of a forest. In actuality, the probably 3 acres of woods were sparse and easily navigated, but as an imaginative child I always imagined other worlds within those trees. In the late evening on wintery days we would see deer in the forest from our back picture window. After living in seedy towns like Portland, Wallingford, New Haven, and Meriden, the wooded beauty of Glastonbury was a magic that is still indescribable.

I trudged into the woods and went for a short walk to a nearby stream. I pretended that Kyle Richenbach was there besides me, holding my hand and kissing me. A part of the earth, I knew all about everything. I melted in with the trees and the animals, and became one with the forest. I felt glorious.

What felt like hours later I ran back home, through the woods. In the backyard, I stopped to examine some of Juneau’s leftovers. I had just finished a story, I forget its name now, in which a young girl was alone in the world, abandoned. She lived in a little cement, square home without a toilet, and she had to do all of her personal business in a corner of the room. I stood up and went inside, glad to have a bathroom.

Mom was inside, with my little baby sister, Maeve. The tiny, wrinkled thing was crying furiously. I wondered if Mom had noticed the cleaned dishes. Most likely, not. But there was always a possibility.

The television was already on, so I sat on the floor in front of the love seat, resting my head on the cushion. Mom was feeding Maeve, and was absorbed in her sobs. Dad was asleep, on the couch. I already felt bored.

“How was your day, Siobhan?” Mom asked, not looking up from the baby.

“It was great! I got to read a book called Little Bit of Blue, and although I didn’t finish it I really loved it. Then, Katie and I played ‘Tigress’ on the monkey bars, you know, where you pretend you’re a female tiger! Rawr, and then we had a math quiz later. I’m not sure how I did on that,” I rambled on for awhile, neglecting to mention Kyle Richenbach of course.

The day continued on in much the same fashion. At around 6:30 p.m. I began rummaging through the pantry in search of dinner. Mom had to leave for rehearsal, and Dad was still asleep. Maeve went with Mom to Aunt Theresa’s house, which was about 20 minutes away. I found some cheetos, and assumed they would suffice.

I watched a few more television shows before moving to the computer in the dining room. My mom had been working at COX Communications for several years, and had gotten a cheap computer when they had first come out for general home usage. My Dad had installed Civilization II, which I played incessantly.

I would rule the great Celts, and dominate the other civilizations which attempted to corrupt my world. Building spaceships and networks of cities and towns, I felt in complete control of the universe. Time always disappeared as I played, though, and before long Dad was waking up to go to work. He scolded me for playing so long, and told me to go brush my teeth and go to bed.

In the bathroom I rubbed some toothpaste on my tongue, and ran water over the toothbrush. I brushed my thick, auburn hair ferociously with my mom’s hairbrush for a few moments, before turning out the light and going to my room. I played with my barbies in bed for a few minutes, wishing I had a Ken doll so we could practice kissing.

Outside, I heard the squeaky red car, a Dodge Shadow, pull into the driveway. I heard Mom and Dad part ways, and the night settle silently. I stole over to the lightswitch and threw it down, turning my lights off.

Throwing the barbies in a Tupperware container, I exited my room and gave Mom a goodnight hug. For once, Maeve was silent.

I fell asleep that night imagining that Kyle Richenbach and I were getting married. I wore a beautiful orange fairy dress with glittery slippers. He wore a black suit and had contacts in his eyes. Just as we were about to kiss at the alter, my dad runs in screaming.

That is what I awoke to, my dad screaming. I opened my eyes, and there he stood in my doorway glaring furiously at the walls. I had forgotten to take down the post-it notes! “What the heck is this!?” Dad yelled, pulling a post-it off the wall.

I began whimpering, trying to complete some form of explanation. Dad stood in the doorway before calling my mom’s name, “Maureen!” he yelled.

I heard the scream of a baby, and my mom’s groan of just waking.

“MAUREEN!” Dad said it a little louder, although a great deal of red had disappeared out of his cheeks.

The door opened down the hallway, and Mom came ambling in, her eyes half-open. “Look,” he said, much quieter now, pointing at the walls.

I was shivering now, and my stomach lurched from side to side. Were they going to kill me? No, they can’t do that. They’d go to jail. I let out a small sob from my bed, and Dad and Mom turned to me.

“Alright, this is what you’re going to do,” said Dad, moving towards the bed.

“You’re going to go to school today and tell this Kyle Richenbach that you are in no way going to kiss him. I am going to drive you to school, and I will be in the office while you do this.”

Dad told me to get dressed, and walked out of the room. Mom stood there for a moment, looking at me. She gave me a little smile, encouraging me to do as my dad had asked. “Well, there you go. Up and at ‘em,” she said, exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

Openly crying now, terrified of the social rejection that would come of this pull-out on my part, I grabbed clothes at random. My striped leggings and striped (but non-matching) dress-shirt, and a pair of green socks. I opened my door stealthily, making sure no one was around. I could hear Mom and Dad talking in the other room. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth ferociously, until my gums bled a little. Sobbing, I tried brushing a huge knot out of my hair that had formed in the night. Unable to manage the thing, I left it.

Dad was waiting for me in the living room, my backpack in hand. “Let’s go,” he motioned for me to follow him. I did.

The car-ride to school was unbearable. I thought I was going to throw-up. We didn’t speak, accept for a mumble about ‘boys’.

Once the car was parked in the lot, Dad and I got out of the car. He was still carrying my backpack. I wanted to carry it. I wanted something to hold on to, but I was afraid to ask him. I followed him inside. Dad walked up and said something to the principal, who always stood outside of the office in the morning. I cannot remember her name, but she was a tiny woman, maybe an inch taller than me. She was thin and wore long, floor-length skirts. She had short, blondish-gray hair and smiled whenever anyone passed. She looked concerned, now. “Hmmm, well, let me call him down to the office. I’ll have to contact his parents, too,” and she disappeared into her office, leaving Dad and I in the school hallway.

Everyone was walking to their morning classes, and my friends stopped and said hello. Katie walked by, with her twin brother John. “Are you sick or something?” she asked, looking up at my Dad.

“Something like that,” I muttered, staring at the ground.

“Ok, well I hope you feel better soon!” and she headed off for class.

The principal stood at the door. “Alright, Mr. Barton, if you and Siobhan could come this way,” she motioned with her hand. We stepped into the office and there, sitting in an office chair was Kyle Richenbach. He looked terrified, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye. I thought I saw little beads of sweat forming on his eyebrows.

“Kyle’s mother will be in later, but she’s asked us to deal with this immediately,” said the Principal, taking a seat next to Kyle.

Kyle denied everything, down to the fact that he even knew my name. I was furious at him for lying. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, and one true-love. How could he lie like that? When they asked me, I told them the almost-truth. That Kyle had come up with the idea, and, after lots of persuasion on his part, I had agreed. That was the ‘almost’ part.

The morning ended like that, Kyle and I sitting in chairs opposite one another, denying everything from attraction to friendship. The adults nodded to everything we said, and they simply asked that we apologize to one another, which we promptly did.

Dad took me home. He had the social intuition to know that my day in school would be incredibly uncomfortable and wasted after the morning.

When we got home I had to take all the post-it’s off my wall and throw them away. I pulled one after another off the wall, sticking them together and tossing them in the trash.

I felt defeated, but also relieved. I was nervous that as a kisser I wouldn’t do a very good job. I was also glad that I had been saved from kissing Kyle Richenbach. He obviously wasn’t a great boyfriend. He couldn’t even stand up for me. I suddenly hated his taped glasses and white-collared shirt.

I left my room to go watch TV with my dad, the wire wastebasket in my room full of yellow and purple post-its. I was saved.