You know how some days you feel as though you can take on the world? That the Gods are smiling down at you? That everything can turn out alright?
Today was not one of those days.
It started out alright. I woke up, drove my mom to work, and then went to the bank. That's when it started. For the fourth time in the past two weeks, Soveriegn Bank told me to come back another day when they could deal with my Overdraft Issue. So I left the bank angry that I have to travel back there again on Wednesday.
So I decided I'd do something happy. Well, that means a Dunkin' Donuts medium regular coffee with cream and sugar. So I grabbed one. Now, that made things slightly better. I ran home, picked up my sister, and we went to Goodwill. We dropped off some movies and clothes, went inside and did some of our own shopping.
Then we went to the Mall and decided to join in with our materialistic American cohorts. We didn't actually buy anything, except for our donation to Burger King. I did have my eye on a nice pair of boots at Payless, but they were not on sale. Too bad. I could have used some guilty pleasure buying.
We ended up having to drive to Hartford early to pick up my mom, who then wanted to go to Marshall's and then The Puppy Place. After that we drove home to settle in for the night.
Now, two weeks ago I was invited to a Birthday/New Year's Party in Cheshire. After receiving a 'yes' from my mom, I okayed and we started working on a plan to attend. Turns out, I'm not allowed to drive on New Year's Eve. This is frustrating to me, as I've been such a responsible and mature adult. I feel like I'm 14 again. I feel like I'm grounded.
So, rather grudingly my mother agreed to drive me down to Cheshire before Dad has to go to work. It's dificult because last year, when I was depressed, my parents encouraged me to make friends and go out and do things. Now that I try to do that, I'm not allowed. Maybe it would have been better if I'd been a difficult and unruly teenager. Then my parents would understand that it's time to give me a little independence and freedom.
I mean, I'm only in college.
Time to grow up?
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1 comment:
Maybe you were just a little more challenging as a teenager than you thought you were? Everyone wrestles with it differently, everyone meets - and makes - his or her own unique hurdles. C'est la vie, they say, and perhaps they're right this once.
Your life has gone much better than the lives of some others out there. But you've also tried hard and worked hard; you deserve all the happiness you can find. Your Mom may have had to balance certain realities (how tired she was, time constraints on getting the car back home in time for Dad, etc.) against your desires.
As it was, everything probably worked out. She wants nothing more than to see you happy - and I bet you already know that. Sometimes you just need to stop and take a look at the world and yourself with eyes as clear as you can make them. The wonderful thing about doing this, difficult and scary though it may be at times, is that you rediscover some things you really knew all along. Such as how loved you are.
It's good you are learning how to be happy - you will have a good life.
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